I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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