So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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