I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
