words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
