Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
