Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
