I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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