New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
