Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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