He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
