he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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