think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
