Having a random hookup so left but love u
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
