just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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