from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
