Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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