you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
