so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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