I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
