Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
