I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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