Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
