p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
