I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
