Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
