that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
