sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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