His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
