The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
