I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
