when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
