Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
