I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
