All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
