Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
