There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
