Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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