did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
