I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize