Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
