Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
