i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
