He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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