one might say we're banned from that church
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
