Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Someone shit on the floor
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
third nipple confirmed
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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