So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
