Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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