i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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