Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
