Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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