Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Is it because I queefed?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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