grandma shit on top of the toilet
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
